I kissed you, Remember
by ariasalvatore
Summary: Jackson and April both have feelings for each other that they aren't quite yet ready to admit to. One day, Jackson bites the bullet and tells April the truth about the way he feels for her, he does not expect her reaction to be what it is.


April could feel Jackson staring at her, she could feel him watching her and wanting her but she knew that if she looked up and into his stupidly pretty eyes, she might not be able to control the feelings she'd had the past week or so. She was with Matthew now, she was only just with Matthew again and she wanted to make that work. He was everything she had ever wanted in a man, he was saving himself for the person he loved the most and that was what she had always planned to do. Then Jackson came along and made her feel special and he made her feel beautiful, and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't shake the feeling that there was meant to be something between the two of them. She heard someone walk up behind her and she turned around to find Matthew standing behind her grinning, she hated herself for feeling disappointed that it was her boyfriend rather than her ex sex buddy, but she did.

"Oh, Hi."

"You don't look too happy to see me?" Matthew was questioning her and she knew exactly why.

"No, I am. I'm really sorry I have to go do something, I'll see you later ok." April knew it was wrong but she couldn't stand there and lie to his face she just had to find something to distract herself from her thoughts. She was practically running around the hospital looking for something to do and as she turned the corner without looking she knew what was about to happen when it did, she had literally just walked herself straight in to the person she was trying to avoid. She wasn't just trying to avoid him physically, she was trying to avoid even thinking about him and that was so hard when he was just popping up around corners.

"Jackson, I am so sorry! I wasn't even looking where I was going I just turned the corner and there you were."

Jackson knew how he could make April feel so he took a step closer towards her as he gave her back the chart she had been carrying. "It's ok, you seem distracted?"

"No, not at all."

"Oh, really? It's just you haven't looked at me in a few days and it seems to me that you're avoiding me, and at first I thought it was just because you wanted to be happy with Matthew and didn't want anyone getting in the way, but you literally ran away from him earlier, so maybe you don't want him to know you have feelings for someone else."

"Feelings for someone else? And who could that possibly be."

Jackson stood directly in front of her and stared into her eyes, watching them flicker between his own and his mouth. "Oh I think you know."

April was barely paying attention to what he was saying. He was standing so close to her. All she wanted to do was grab him and never let go, she wanted to drag him into the on call room and relive so many good moments she'd had with him. She knew she had to restrain herself, but she just couldn't.

"Come with me."

Jackson was confused but he wasn't going to say no, he then realised they were going in to the on call room and he secretly hoped that it was for what he thought it was for.

"You need to stop Jackson."

"Stop what?"

"You know exactly what I mean. The flirting, the staring, the comments."

"What? I was just having conversation."

"No, all we ever seem to talk about is how we used to have sex. I regret it so much."

"You regret having sex with me? Thanks April, that's nice."

"No, Jackson that's not what i meant. I regret keeping it secret, I regret not having a real relationship as well, I regret not being able to tell people that I was once falling for you because basically all we did was sleep together."

"In case you can't re call, I offered you those things. I offered you a relationship, I told you it wasn't just sex for me, I was ready to marry you if you were pregnant, and I was happy with that. Yet when you found out you didn't have to marry me it was like you were the happiest person alive. How is that fair on me April? I wanted to be with you, I want to be with you."

"You still want to be with me after everything i've put you through?"

Jackson took a few steps forward so he was closer to her and put his hand against her cheek. "April, I would never not want to be with you. You are the most frustrating person I know, you have a comment on everything and you ramble when you're nervous. But I love those things about you, the rambling is cute, and the way you get excited is cute, you are cute. No, you are beautiful. I will always want to be with you, no matter how you feel for me."

"Jackson I- I don't know what to say."

"That's because you're a good person, you don't want to hurt Matthew because you care about everyone, and that is why I love you."

"Wait, that's why you what?"

Jackson didn't know what to do. He didn't mean to tell her that. Of course it was true, but you don't tell a girl that you love her when she has a boyfriend, you don't tell a girl that you love her when she obviously doesn't want to be with you. "April, I'm sorry. That just kind of came out, I didn't-"

Jackson was cut off when April reached up and kissed him, she kissed him so hard that he was pushed backward a little bit. Jackson automatically wrapped his hands around her waist and leant forward like he always did, like he did on their first kiss at the stupid boards that changed everything. April felt Jackson pull back and realised what she was doing. She realised the stupid mistake you were making.

"Jackson I have to go."

He sighed, "Yeah, I guessed."

"No! Not because of that. That was great, but I can't tell you that I love you too when I have a boyfriend, so go work, I'll find you later." April smiled at Jackson and he just stood there shocked, she had just told him she loved him too, and that was the last thing he expected. April kissed him on the cheek as she practically ran out of the on call room. Jackson just wandered out after her, still in shock. He didn't know how he was supposed to work when he knew that April was going to be looking for him soon.

April was practically giddy as she was walking around the hospital. After Jackson told her how we felt, she realised that it had always been him and it would always be him. He was Jackson, he was perfect. She knew she needed to find Matthew immediately and tell him, she'd only lost her virginity a while ago; she most definitely was not the sort of person to cheat, especially on someone as sweet as Matthew. She assumed he would be in the cafeteria waiting for her, as they normally had lunch together.

"Matthew?"

He grinned at her and that brought down April's mood a little bit, she realised that she was about to hurt him, but she had to do it. She wanted to be with Jackson so desperately. "Erm Matthew, I need to talk you about something, and before I do I want you to know that you are wonderful, you are kind and sweet and smart, and I am an idiot and I am sorry."

"So you're breaking up with me?"

"I- I wish I wasn't."

"That's not true. Otherwise you wouldn't be doing it. Can I ask why?"

"It is true, I wish more than anything that I had realised my stupid feelings months ago, when I still had the opportunity to do everything right, in the right order without hurting anyone, but I have to now. Either way someone gets hurt."

"You didn't tell me why."

"It's him Matthew. He just has a way of making me feel like i'm the only person on the planet, and when he looks at me I melt. I know you don't want to hear this, but one day you will find someone who makes you feel exactly the same way. You'll find someone who loves you like he loves me."

"How do you know he loves you? Have you been sleeping with him?"

"Ok I can't believe you would ask me that, I know because he told me. That does not mean I had sex with him. I can't believe you would think that of me."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too." They sat there in silence for a few moments before Matthew just left. April sat there for a minute or two to compose herself, then she went to find Jackson. She went to find Jackson to tell him that everything could be perfect now, they could be together and it wouldn't matter what anyone else though, because they were in love.

April was wandering around the hospital for almost ten minutes before she found Jackson at one of the nurses stations, she saw him standing there from the other side of the corridor and it made her so happy just thinking about what he said earlier, about how he loved her and always would. Jackson was perfect for her and they could finally be together. Ever since the boards and that night in the hotel she had wanted to be with him, but she had always been scared to admit it because of the way there relationship started. She should've known that after the bathroom they should be together, they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. When she was back home before Hunt rehired her all she could think about was him and the way he made her feel when he kissed her, but she knew she wasn't supposed to. She just didn't know what to do with herself.

Jackson was filling at some information on a patient chart when he heard footsteps. He looked up to see who it was like he usually did in case they wanted something. They all wanted something from him ever since his mom bought the stupid hospital. However, he was pleasantly surprised when he looked up to find April looking at him from over the desk. He smiled at her and she smiled back, Jackson decided he couldn't wait any longer. He walked over to her and stood directly in front of her.

"Hi." And then he kissed her, he kissed her like he had never kissed her before. April's arms wrapped around his neck and his hands went down to her waist. Jackson could feel April pulling at him, wanting more. He pulled away and whispered into her ear.

"On call room?"

**I don't know whether to make this a one shot or a story so any suggestions would be fab. I'd also appreciate reviews.**


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